Diary Entry #4

Dear Ana,

I think my best friends are finally getting sick of me like the last ones...they always do. Pretty soon Lola will run with a different crowd, Sasha and Liz will leave me out, Lexy will move, Paige will get older and me...I'll be stuck in my same pathetic little retinue. I'm so sorry I'm not good enough - I never am. I'm always used, played, having my love stolen and used greedily. Maybe it's best so that way if I kill myself less people will hurt.
Ana, I'm crying while writing this. I'm just so tired of this shit. I can feel them getting sick of me. The way their laughs aren't as real at my jokes, the more silences between us, the less texts... It's happening again and I don't think my heart can take it this time.
I just want one person who can stand me. Who will love me. Who will laugh at my stupid little puns in an awkward situation. Who will watch Spongebob with me and take random walks at 10 at night. Who listens to PTV and Mayday Parade as religiously as I do...

I walked for about 3 hours today so hopefully...

-Holly